I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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