She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
