i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
now i know why i became what i already was.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
