they need to just BURY HIM!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
