Pants 0. Shit 1.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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