Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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