Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
