D3 body, D1 cock
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
