Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Drake has all the answers
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
