K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
