i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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