And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
