Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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