the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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