if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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