I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
