girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
