Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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