I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
