your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
