So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
