Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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