dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize