nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
