At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
