I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
