I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
