i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
