idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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