Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
