You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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