ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think people are normalizing furries
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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