If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
