He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
