And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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