he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
