Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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