Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
