More tranny stories later!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
