I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
