some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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