i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
