1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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