I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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