so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
