im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
