what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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