Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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