if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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