your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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