great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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