I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
