This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
