How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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