Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
