all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize