It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
