apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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