First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
