I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You ruined the universe
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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