Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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