i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
