so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
