i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
