I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
no you cant smoke seaweed
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
