something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
