How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
we should paint friendship bongs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
