people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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