i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
