He is an equal opportunity slut.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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